Four Ways to Cut a Toxic Person out of your life.

created by Elza Fouché

 Have you ever known someone you were friends with or a family member who you just knew was toxic, and every feeling and vibe they gave was totally negative? I think its clear to say at one point or another we have all had an interaction with someone toxic. 

 This isn’t a step by step guide on how to not let someone like this into your life, but more of a reason why its okay to let them go. There are so many people who struggle with this because if your not careful they can influence the way you think and behave. They can introduce stress and drag your goals down with them. 

How do you know someone is toxic?

They distract you from your goals: whether that's coming up with reasons why you should stay in a bad relationship, or someone who makes fun of you for wanting better for yourself.  One of the biggest signs that a person in your life is toxic, is that they are selfish and that might mean the relationship or friendship is one sided. They feel the need to be right, and this person lives for the drama! They are always right and are always the victim. If you have someone in mind that does all of these, then they are most likely a toxic person. 

#1 - ACKNOWLEDGE THE TOXICITY.

In my experience it took a long time for me to come to terms that the friendship was toxic. I constantly made excuse after excuse for this person. I truly believed that we were friends for so long and our friendship deserved to be fought for. I didn’t realize they were manipulating me, and everyone else around them in to feeling sorry for them (playing the victim).

#2  - REALISE IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE THEM.

I see this one everywhere, in so many relationships my friends are in or family members are in! I've seen it a lot in my sisters relationships where she fell for the need to rescue someone, or had a friend who she would always have to save from bad situations which only dragged her down with them. This is wrong, and you should never be on that side of a friendship or relationship. I’ve heard and seen all the excuses, like “Its not them, they had a horrible childhood” or “they don’t realize they are doing it”. Either way its not your job to change a person! Focus on your energy and your goals will follow! 

#3 - SKIP THE DRAMA.

Its better to cut ties, go “cold turkey” or so to say and don't forget to block and delete!! Thats the beauty with social media and cell phones now a days. It is so easy to use technology to take someone out of our lives and we now have so many options available for us to do this like these app that "block your ex from your digital life". Its okay to go as far as changing your number if you need to! Honestly the sooner you do it the happier you will be.

#4 - REDIRECT YOUR ENERGY

The best thing about breaking up with a friend, a family member or a romantic partner may be that energy goes where attention is. Meaning that the more selective you are about where your focus and energy is, the more happier you will be when its not being absorbed by toxic individuals. 

I hope on writing more pieces like this "REAL TALK" every month, if you like these blog posts please leave me a comment below what you want to read or know more about!